Props to #2.

So I'm ridiculously impressed with #2. If anyone in Little Rock needs an internist, may I recommend Dr. Jack Fendley at NLR Diagnostic. He and his nurse, Kathy, are freaking awesome.

Kathy called me today to let me know that she sent the 'spert ALL my records, past scans, and a letter explaining that 'spert had to fill out the insurance pre-authorization forms before they'd cover my next (unnecessary) scan. The frightening thing, Kathy told me not to expect much. Her words about the 'spert, "He's a piece of work, so I wouldn't hold your breath on these pre-auth forms." Dr. Fendley personally called the 'spert to try to explain to him how seldom someone like me comes along. I mean, according to Dr. Fendley, I'm like, medical journal quality. Who the hell would pass that shit up?

So basically, my medical history is the carrot. Isn't that kinda screwed up? They have to dangle something so freakish in front of a 'spert so he'll agree to cooperate.

Gah.

What is tenterhook anyway?

Okay peeps. T minus, I don't know...some hours (?) 'til the doctors appointment that could change my life forever. How's that for some unnecessary (probably anti-climactic) drama?

Tomorrow morning we'll see if #2 is smart or not. I know you're all waiting on tenterhooks to hear wtf my deal is.

No fear, babies. Hopefully tomorrow will be the day. #2 will be the man. I have faith. He will give me an answer and a diagnosis. I can feel it in my 87 year old bones.

No news is good news, right?

Monday a week ago, #2 told me the results of my blood tests could take up to 7 business days to come back from the lab. I haven't heard from him yet. Based on that and the fact I have an appointment with him next Thursday to discuss the results, I'm assuming either a.) he doesn't have the results back yet b.) the results show something horrifying and he doesn't want to tell me over the phone or c.) the tests showed nothing and I'll be seeing the 'spert next.

All three options are equally obnoxious and annoying to think about. I can't imagine people who actually have horrible things wrong with them and have to wait on results to tell them if they're dying or not. I cannot imagine.

When The Google Attacks.

#2 suggested several things that could be causing my osteoporosis. If your mind works like mine, you'll understand when I say I wish he hadn't told me those possible diseases/syndromes/deficiencies that could be the culprit for my shitty bones.

Me and The Google have found entirely too much information on the interwebs. Every time I look at another possible explanation, I have every one of the symptoms. Literally. Every. Single. Symptom. I even read some of them to The Hubs. Without me saying a word, his response was, "Holy shit. You have all those." And it's always the worst case scenario. Naturally.

I hate The Google sometimes. I can hardly wait for #2 to call with those test results. Until then, no more self-diagnosis. Promise.

Bones be damned!

Damn it all. I've aged three years since July. Well, not all of me. Just my bones. They are now hovering around 87. Fun, huh?

I did see a new doctor today, one who took 9 vials of blood... I look like a drug addict right now. Both arms have track marks. But I'll forgive him. You see, Doctor #2 (to be referred to as #2 from here on out) actually offered reasons for the osteoporosis instead of just drugs to treat it.

So right now, I'm being tested for hyperparathyroidism, celiac disease, and various vitamin deficiencies. Even if this doctor doesn't diagnose me, he's already got the next person in mind. Apparently there's a hidden, reclusive doctor here in Little Rock who specializes in osteoporosis research. #2 said this other guy (we'll call him the 'spert...I'll explain later) would love to get his hands on me if all these tests today come back negative. So 'spert is lined up if #2 can't figure me out.

What started off as an extremely shitty day, has actually turned around.